Hillary Raimo - Walking in Spirit Business 09/28 by RockYourLife | Blog Talk Radio

Hillary Raimo - Walking in Spirit Business 09/28 by RockYourLife | Blog Talk Radio

9/11 TEN YEARS ON

Today is September 11.  Ten years ago, the Twin Towers in USA fell. Until a week or so ago, I did not realise that it has been so long.  Time really flies.  Seems there is a building coming up on that spot.  I wonder how many people in Singapore still feels what it was like that day, how they felt.  I shudder to think that anything can happen despite a country's most developed military capabilities.  It does not take weapons to destroy anymore.  Violence is bad, war is terrible.  However, to have innocent people killed just to put a point across, is simply COWARDICE.  Would I get into trouble for saying so?  I have no freaking idea but that is how I feel.

I wonder at this moment how the surviving family members of the 9/11 victims are feeling today.  How have they coped these last 10 years.  Were they forgotten soon after or are support for them still ongoing.  People usually say that time heals.  I am not so sure if if does really heal.  How is "healing" defined?  The pain certainly does not go away nor missing the person/s.  The pain does get better in the sense that it does not hurt every minute second as before nor is it as painful and tearing.  The tears are lesser too but they are still there, coming on really unexpectedly.  Sometimes we think that we are coping well and we can control our emotions well.  It does not happen to everyone.  I know that first hand.

In memory of the victims of 9/11, I attach the video by Darryl Worley, Have you forgotten.

WISDOM FOR LIFE'S JOURNEYS

I subscribe to some inspirational and motivational sites which send me beautiful stories, quotes and sayings.  Today, I received one which resonated very well with how I feel about life's ups and downs and how to deal with it.  


It is always easier said than done for most but it is not impossible.  For some people, it takes longer, for others it seems to be inborn.  Whatever happens in life, at whatever pace one is going, we should always stop to smell the roses.  With development of the world, one would expect it making life easier.  However, the irony is, it causes a tremendous increase in the level of stress for most.  We are sucked into the rat-race, whether we like it or not.  More people are finding it difficult to cope with the demands of the modern world.


Learning how to cope with life's demands is not something that comes along easily.  It is something which we need to nurture on a conscious level.  Constant reminders to ourselves that life can be beautiful and simple, if only we allow ourselves to see and live it that way.  Material things have never been something I yearn for.  Branded stuff, big cars and big houses.  Sure, it would be nice, but does that really give real happiness?  Would it help us to get by the tribulations of life?  At the end of the day, it is how we decide to see things and live by our own beliefs.  


Everyday is a new day for me.  I never know what it will bring.  One thing I know for sure, is that it can only be bad if I expect it to be.  Enjoy each day as it comes. Life is full of shits but how you see that pile of shit, will determine how you live your life.  For me, sometimes a pile of shit is turned into a speck of dandruff on my shoulder which I can easily fluff off in a second.  


All in all, it is our attitude that counts.  I have below the sharing for today by Nancye Sims.  Who is she? I have not idea.  All that matters to me is that she had written something so beautiful that I am compelled to share it with everyone.  Here goes: 


WISDOM OF LIFE'S JOURNEYS


Your life is a journey ahead of you.

Each day is a new beginning.
Yesterday is a friend that will guide you.


There will be good times and bad times;
Cherish the good, because they make life sweet,
But be thankful for the bad,
For through them you come to know
The important things in life
And the meaning of life.
There will be times when you face
Difficult decisions,
And you won’t know which way to turn.
The important thing is that you make a choice,
And move forward.


There will be times that test your strength and endurance,
But don’t give up;
Refuse to accept defeat,
For perseverance is the key to success.
there will be times when you are hurt by love.
Forgive those who hurt you
So that your heart will be free to love again.
There will be times when you make mistakes.
Remember that mistakes are not a reflection of your self-worth,
But of your humanity.
Nor do they make you less of a person.
Because of the lessons you’ve learned,
You’ve grown and become wiser.


There will be times when your search for happiness
Leads to frustration and disappointment,
But don’t stop believing in happiness.
Being happy with yourself goes a long way toward
Knowing happiness in your life.
There will be times when life seems unfair,
But don’t allow it to make you bitter
And steal your joy.
Nothing is worth this.
When fear stands in the way of reaching out for your dreams,
Confront them and you will conquer them.


There will be times when your faith is shaken,
But don’t despair,
It will rise up and carry you above the storm and to victory….
 Copyright  © 1996 By Nancye Sims

Beauty of Women

Why Women Cry. Watch her eyes

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

by: Gregg Braden

 

I came across the above many years ago and again this morning when a Facebook friend posted it.  It is a heartwarming reminder of who I am within. 

I always believe that females are much stronger than males internally though not all female realise that.  When both goes through adversity, somehow on a larger percentage, the women will come out of it better and stronger.  There are so many women out there whom we read about, their "never give-up" attitude and positive outlook to life.  Many strive for others without conditions nor expectations.  Their selflessness is just so admirable.

It makes me look back at my own life.  Recently, an acquaintance I met for coffee asked me a question.  He was keen to know where I got my strength for life from.  Some of the events I went through in life may not be much to some, but to others it was something that would have brought a person down for years to come.  I had no answer for him.  I am still trying to understand where I get my inner strength from.  How I can always be taking responsibility for my own actions and accepting the consequences and then moving on.  I am easily contented, more so with simple things in life.  I do not need material goods, branded bags and shoes nor be adorned with jewellery.  It is not that I do not like such things, it is just that I never believe we need to pay so many times more for something I consider practical.  My contentment comes from fulfilling my needs rather than my wants.  Happiness is not from owning branded things.  Happiness is a process, a journey of intangibles.  The joy of being with people you like, moments filled with laughter, the sense of friendship.  Seeing your children enjoy their childhood, hearing their thanks for cooking them a meal, getting kisses and hugs from them.  These are things that tell me I am doing alright.  

It helps me to go on doing what brings joy to others.  I signed up as a volunteer recently.  Some people were pleased for me while others asked why I am spending time doing things I do not get paid for, and why bother wasting time helping others.  I tell them "Why not? It is something I like doing."  The world can be a better place and all it requires it for everyone to contribute a little time, kindness, forgiveness to get there.  

It takes strength to forgive.  I remember the phrase : forgive and forget.  I find it so wrong.  One can forgive but never forget. Well, unless you are senile.  Then again, you can still have bouts of selective memory bouncing back.  It is not easy to understand what is forgiveness.  Forgiveness is not simply saying "I forgive you."  It comes from deep within oneself.  It is a process of looking at things in a different perspective, acknowledging that both had contributed to the incident, accepting the consequences and willingness to let it go and move on.  Forgiving is one of the most difficult thing to do in life.  When you learn to forgive, you have gained a life-long strength.  It somehow makes a person stronger internally and of course, happier too.  It is not easy for many to understand how forgiving others can make themselves happy.  Well, it does.  If only there is a course to teach people how to forgive, the world would be a happier place.

I am not sure if men find it easier to forgive than women.  After all, women are known to be emotional creatures. We shed tears easily.  I do for all kinds of reasons.  One reason I hardly watch movies at the cinema is that I cry too easily.  I cry at scenes of deaths, weddings, childbirth, reconciliation, love, etc.  I cry when things remind me of people I miss, of things I went through and of hopes and dreams.

I am a compassionate fool. Come to think of it, being compassionate helps me to see things in a different light.  It helps me to get to the other person's level and understand them better.  Being compassionate is not to be confused with pity.  Pity to me, creates negativity.  When you pity someone, it somehow lowers that person's self-esteem.  When we show compassion, it strengthens them.  I guess women are better with showing compassion than men.  Maybe it is the mother-nurturing factor in us.  At times, I wonder if the development of our world has changed characteristics of people.  Women of today sees beauty differently, they see it more externally.  Which is sad. Sure, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  However, inner beauty radiates more than the bling blings on the body.

With this, I  hope you can spend some time to think about your own beauty and strength.  You may be surprised at what you discover.

Yellow Ribbon Street Sale Project 2011

I participated in today's Yellow Ribbon Street Sale Project.  I was not sure how I would do but just prayed for the best.  It turned out to be a heart warming and delightful experience for me.  The last time I helped out at a Flag Day event was back in the 1970s when I was still schooling and I remembered that as most discouraging and it was something I told myself not to get involved in again.

My reporting station was at the Pasir Ris MRT Station.  I arrived slightly before noon to report for the second shift.  As I moved to the reporting area, there was a big group of volunteers from Pertapis collecting their tins and ribbons. Suddenly, I felt so alone.  Kicking myself out of that feeling, I told myself that I was there for a cause and that was most important.  As the day passed, every volunteer I saw there either arrived in groups or were from an organisation and later in the afternoon, students.  I went as an individual volunteer.  Nevertheless, all the volunteers were full of spirit and I could see they were there with a heart. 

Within the first minute of standing outside B Exit of the train station, I had my first sale.  That had me feeling really good.  I started to have a constant stream of donors.  I noticed that those approaching from the bus-stop either had purchased a ribbon from those volunteers standing along the pathway or they were not interested at all.  Most of my donors were coming out from the train station.  It was quiet in between train arrivals.  So, I decided to check out the area outside White Sands Shopping Centre.  There were already quite a few volunteers.  My area at Exit B was much better.  That became my territory.

I learned to gauge the reaction of the people as they approached and saw me standing there, smiling at them.  9 out of 10 of those I sensed would donate, did.  A few times, I decided to go against my gut feelings and approached those whom I thought would not donate.  9 out of 10 did not donate.  A lot of the donors were those above 35.  A few of them told me that they had already bought a ribbon at Tampines or earlier in the morning but they still wanted to donate a second time.  It gave me a great feeling when I saw people holding the yellow ribbon pack in their hands or had a ribbon pinned onto their shirt/blouse.  As they came nearer, I thanked them even though they had bought it from another volunteer.  After all, it did not matter whom they bought it from, we were all there for the same cause and my showing of gratitude is free and genuine.

Thank you to the wonderful people who supported the Yellow Ribbon Project by purchasing yellow ribbons from me and all my fellow volunteers. There was one gentleman who had a few plastic bags of items in both hands. He asked me to hold on to those from one of his hands so that he could get his wallet out from his pocket to make a purchase from me. That really touched me.  I also had many people donating $2 and $5. Two persons donated all the coins they had which amounted to a few dollars each as well. I approached a primary school girl who said that she did not have money.  I told her even 10cents would be appreciated.  She took her wallet out and donated more than a dollar worth of coins.  Such an angel.

All my ribbons were sold out in 2 hours. If not for my empty tummy and painful joints, I would have gone on to collect a second batch of ribbons.

The sale of yellow ribbons at various places in Singapore will go on until 7.30pm tonight. Once again, thank you all for your support and God Bless Everyone.

Learning and healing through writing

It has been a while since I last blogged.  Procrastination was one reason.  It was always "later" even when the thoughts were fresh.  The mind was not strong enough to overcome the distractions of the day.  As I sit in front of the laptop now, I find myself having so many things to document and as usual, my mind becomes too muddled up.

For those who do not know me, I am writing a book.  A book which I hope will inspire others, to remind them that there will always be obstacles in life.  Only we ourselves can choose to either remain standing in front of it or go around it.  Sometimes, it takes a longer time to go around it but eventually we will get there.

I have completed the first 4 chapters of my book.  It has been rather overwhelming, more emotional than I anticipated.  As the words flowed and the recollection of past life events surfaced, so did the deeply buried emotions.  I found that writing about one's life journey required immense inner strength and courage.  It is not something for the faint hearted. 

At this juncture, it has helped me to link my feelings and behaviour to certain incidents, how it has caused me to be withdrawn in some areas of my life.  It had affected me more than I realised.  I thought by putting the incident out of my mind, I would be fine.  Little did I know that by burying it deep within me, it was slowly eating me up.  There will be more to come as I continue to write. 

Recently, I met a local author.  He told me that writing a book such as mine will bring out a lot of emotions and not everyone is strong enough to go through with it till the end.  He did however, encourage me to continue writing, to take my time, not to rush through it, stop when I feel overwhelmed.  I understand now how he felt when he was writing his books.  At the end of the day, it is not important to have everything published.  It is about putting it down in writing, drawing out the emotions, acknowledging it and letting go.  I have started this journey and I will not stop until I complete the book. 

I started reading a book called The Quest by Mike Handcock.  As I turedn the pages, something inside of me was being stirred.  In it, it states that there are seven stages of human development and everyone who has ever lived, has operated in one of these levels. 

Excerpt from the book:

"The first level is SAFETY where a person is simply worried about their next meal and the roof over their head.  The second is THINKING which is how do I get ahead.  The third is SELF-DEFINITION which is where a person asks who am I and why am I here?  The fourth is GIVING where a person understands they are not on earth for themselves but for others.  The fifth is FLOW and this is the concept of everything that flow, like the seasons.  It is the Universal law of attraction that one is "in the flow".  The sixth is CONSCIOUSNESS where we understand that we are all connected in thought.  Throwing a gum wrapper on a street in Vietnam, could have impact here in New Zealand.  The seventh is SOURCE where it is where we are totally connected to source energy.  "

As I read the above, I thought about my life journey and what I had been through.  I had passed the first and second level.  Right at this moment, you can say that I am in between three and four.  I have always been a giving person but never really understood who I am or why I am here.  Am I believing in what is written in a book not knowing if it is a fiction or a non-fiction?.  It is irrelevant.  All I know is that it makes sense to me.  I wonder what else I will discover about myself through reading the rest of the book. 

I always believe that everything happens for a reason.  What has led me to write this book and what my book will do for others, is a reason in itself why I went through those dark stages of my life.  If I had not walked those paths of the past, I would have nothing to write about, at least nothing that could inspire anyone in the way I want it to.  Life is a never-ending journey.  My adventures do not stop here nor will it be smooth.  Riding a bike over a bumpy road is never easy but when one adds in an attitude of making lemonade when life gives you a lemon, then it becomes an adventure rather than a torture. 

Better check on my spaghetti sauce stewing in the pot.  Tomorrow is another day of fun for me.  I am helping out at the Yellow Ribbon Street Sale, in aid of ex-offenders.  My little way of giving and supporting others.

Getting back on track

Before yesterday, it has been quite a few weeks since I last cooked a meal for my kids.  It has been a really difficult July for me on a personal level, having lost a dear friend cum boss to heart attack. I have 3 lovely boys who have been there for me in their own way, lending me their understanding that I needed to grieve.  No matter what else happens in my life, they are my 3 musketeers. ok ok sometimes when things do not go right and it feels like they are sucking my blood, they are then my 3 mosquitoes LOL  My friend's passing has made me realise even more that I need to make sure that things like a Will and important documents are all in order; making time to be with them, appreciating them, guiding them are things I should not take granted for.

Even cooking a simple meal for them is a big deal for me now.  I am not the greatest of cooks but they do have their favourite dishes.  The wet market cum hawker centre a block away has been closed for upgrading??? and through the grapevine, I was told it would be so for 9 months !!!!  The bad news is, all the stalls are not being relocated at all.  So, marketing for stuff I cannot get here means that I either shop at the Geylang Serai Market or NTUC at SingPost Centre.

Was at Singpost yesterday and decided that I would cook chicken curry for dinner today.  Veg dish is stir fried baby kai-lan.  Very simple fare.  Oldest boy is still down with the flu and so, I am home today to make sure he eats and drinks and most importantly, take his medication.  Other than that, it is mainly housekeeping, being online, watching tv programmes, cleaning clutters in the house.  Need to remember to get on my stationery bike before I shower this evening.  That is another thing I have stopped for weeks.

Being a single-mom is a challenge but it has its moments of wonders.  Little things which we tend to brush aside can be important for others.  I remember once when my son was ill last year and I declined to meet an acquaintance.  She told me that my kid is old enough to take care of himself.  Sure he is but you know, whenever I am sick, all I want is to know that someone cares enough to be home for me.  That is the basic of caring.  What kind of mom would I be if I were to go out for social fun, leaving my sick kid at home all by himself?  Years back when I was working at the airport, I could not return home when they fell ill.  That is the downside of working for management personnel who lack the human touch.  To them, it is what they want, not what you need.  Staff welfare is more than giving bonus, providing medical allowance, etc.  Not everyone has family members to help out during times of need.  Having said that, we survived.  I am really proud of my kids who went through the tough times with me and still turn out ok.

So, to all of you reading this.  Be appreciative of the people in your life.  Stop to smell the roses.  You never know when your time is up.